Pixie Van Dimple is so very sad. She has made a mistake and does not what to do. Her very best friend, Lil Red, who has been Pixie’s best friend for 6 years, all through Primary school, who has been through so much with her and who she loves so much, almost like another sister, is not speaking to her.
Pixie is distraught and is panicking that she cannot fix this and bring the friendship back on track again. She does not know what she would do without Lil Red by her side having adventures and so much fun. They really ‘get’ each other like no one else, laugh at the same jokes and have the same interests, love the same music and their families spend time together enjoying each other’s company. They even went on holiday together!
It’s a very difficult situation for both of them. They both feel alone and isolated from each other and things just don’t feel right. It is so unsettling and Pixie cannot think of anything else. This has been going on for 3 days… what has happened that could have caused such upset? Well Lil Red told Pixie something that she did not want Pixie to share with anyone and Pixie, well her eagerness to share this information got the better of her and she blurted it out to another girl at school, who told Ash Van Jelly, who then unfortunately told Lil Red. So Lil Red knew that Pixie betrayed her trust and was so angry and upset, she could not speak to Pixie. It does not matter what the ‘information’ was – the issue was that Pixie went off and told someone without thinking of her loyalty to her best friend, or the consequences.
Not only had the other girls been talking about this behind Lil Red’s back, they had been texting each other about it too which was pretty tough for Lil Red!
The hostility between the best friends had got worse over the 3 days as they both spent a lot of time thinking about it and Lil Red was getting more angry at Pixie and Pixie was getting more upset and angry that Lil Red refused to talk to her or text her back. It was terrible at school and it felt to both of them that their worlds had caved in.
What a mess! What was Pixie to do? Pixie needed to talk to Lil Red and build up trust between them again. This would be difficult and she would find it hard but it needed to be done to get her precious friendship back on track. Those 3 days without her friend were the longest days of her life so Pixie thought long and hard about what to do. She talked to her sister and me and we suggested Pixie could write Lil Red a letter first to break the silence. So on the afternoon of the 3rd day after school, Pixie wrote Lil Red a letter saying that she was truly sorry for what she had done and wanted the chance to say so in person – that she would be so very sad if they could not be friends again and hoped that they could talk it through and each have the chance to speak and be heard. She walked over to Lil Red’s house and knocked on the door, letter in hand, and gave it to Lil Red’s dad who was working from home.
She decided that a letter might show how much she cared as it was more personal than a phone text and it meant Lil Red could think about it, no pressure.
Later that evening, Lil Red texted Pixie to say that she would speak to her after school the next day.
Pixie thought about meeting Lil Red after school all the next day – by the time the school day ended, she was so nervous and very emotional. When it was time to meet, they met at Lil Red’s house, sitting in the garden on the grass. At first it was really awkward, and tense. Pixie dived in to say that she was so very sorry for saying what she said, that she knew Lil Red had told her in confidence. She said that she understood that she had betrayed Lil Red’s trust and that she hoped that Lil Red would give her the chance to show that she could be trusted, even if it took time to build up that trust again – she said really valued the friendship and that it meant the world to her. She said that she made a mistake and would learn from it and not do it again. She said she did not know what she would do without her best friend who was so precious to her. She said she would understand if Lil Red wanted time to think about it and she would give her time to think if she needed it.
This all came out all at once – Pixie felt vulnerable and uncomfortable but she knew that this was the only way. It was very grown up of her and I think Lil Red realised this.
Lil Red listened quietly and intently, not giving much away. When Pixie finished, Lil Red burst into tears and threw out her arms towards Pixie to give her a hug. It was a huge emotional release and she cried into Pixie’s red hair for a few minutes. They both cried hugging each other tight. When things calmed, Lil Red said that she appreciated Pixie coming to talk to her and felt relieved that Pixie had told her the truth and also owned up to her mistake. That was really important and it meant a lot.
Things eventually healed between the girls after a few days and they felt the friendship was stronger than ever. I am really happy to hear that and I am sure you are too. Friendships mean so much to young people and it can feel like the ground collapses beneath you when things go wrong. But you can make it right again – like Pixie….
We have created some resources about ‘Friendships’ – starting with where the word ‘Friend’ came from.
You will read about what a friend is and how to navigate friendship troubles; how to handle friendships in the real world. We have also inserted a little story to illustrate what being a friend means:
Where does the word “friend” come from?
The word friend comes from an old English word freond, which meant “someone you love or care about.” It’s related to the word free, because a true friend is someone you choose to be around—freely and with kindness. It goes way back to ancient languages where it meant “to love” or “to favor.”
What is a good and loyal friend?
A good and loyal friend is someone who:
- Stands by you when things are tough—not just when everything is going great.
- Keeps your secrets and respects your trust.
- Encourages you to do your best, but also tells you the truth if you’re making a mistake.
- Is kind and respectful, even when you disagree.
- Makes you feel safe and accepted for who you really are.
Loyalty means they don’t just disappear when things get hard. They stick with you and care about you, even if you’re not perfect.
Story: “The Skatepark Promise”
Jayden and Marcus had been best friends since fifth grade. They spent nearly every weekend at the skatepark, trying new tricks, laughing, and challenging each other to go a little further.
One day, a group of older kids showed up. They were good—really good—and kind of intimidating. One of them saw Marcus wipe out and started laughing.
“Wow, dude, maybe try a scooter instead!” he joked.
Marcus felt his face turn red. Jayden had a choice: laugh along or back his friend up.
He looked at the older kids and said, “Everyone falls sometimes. At least he’s trying something new. You don’t get better by just watching.”
The older kid rolled his eyes and walked off. Marcus gave Jayden a grateful nod.
Later that day, Jayden helped Marcus practice the trick again until he landed it perfectly.
Moral of the story:
A good and loyal friend doesn’t care about being “cool” in front of others. They care about you. They’ve got your back when it counts, cheer you on, and help you grow.
How to Bring a Friendship Back on Track When Trust Is Lost
Sometimes, even close friends mess up. Maybe someone told a secret, lied, or didn’t stand up for the other person when they should have. That hurts—but it doesn’t always mean the friendship is over. Here’s how to start rebuilding trust:
- Be Honest About What Happened
Talk it out. Say how you feel without yelling or blaming. Use “I” statements like, “I felt hurt when you told my secret.” - Take Responsibility
If you made the mistake, own it. Say sorry—not just to fix things, but because you truly understand how they feel. A real apology sounds like: “I messed up. I know I hurt you, and I want to make it right.” - Be Patient
Trust takes time to rebuild. Even after a good talk, things might not feel the same right away. That’s okay—just keep showing you care through your actions. - Show That You’ve Grown
Do better. If you broke trust once, show that it won’t happen again. That’s how people start to feel safe with you again. - Give Them Space if They Need It
Sometimes a friend needs time to think and heal. That’s not a rejection—it’s part of the process.
Remember:
Good friendships aren’t perfect—they’re real. Real friends work through problems, grow from mistakes, and come out stronger.
Here’s a simple, teen-friendly mini script someone can use to help start a tough conversation and bring a friendship back on track:
Mini Script: Starting the Conversation
If you made the mistake:
“Hey, can we talk for a minute? I’ve been thinking a lot about what happened, and I know I hurt you. I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to break your trust, and I want to make it right. If you’re open to it, I’d like to try rebuilding our friendship.”
If they hurt you:
“I’ve been feeling kind of off since what happened. I just want to be honest with you because our friendship means a lot to me. When you [say what they did], it made me feel [how it made you feel]. I’m not trying to fight—I just want us to understand each other and maybe fix this.”
If you’re not sure what to say but want to reconnect:
“I miss how things used to be between us. I don’t know exactly how to fix it, but I’m open to talking if you are.”
Here’s a simple and engaging classroom activity for ages 12–16 that teaches how to rebuild trust in friendships and practice real-life communication skills.
Classroom Activity: “Fixing the Friendship”
Goal: Help students practice empathy, communication, and problem-solving when trust is broken in a friendship.
Time: 30–45 minutes
Materials:
- Scenario cards (printed or on screen)
- Mini Script handouts (optional)
- Paper & pens or whiteboards
Step 1: Warm-Up Discussion (5–10 minutes)
Ask the class:
- “What does trust mean in a friendship?”
- “Can a friendship survive if trust is broken? Why or why not?”
- “What’s harder: forgiving someone or saying sorry?”
Let students share short answers or write a response in a journal.
Step 2: Scenario Role-Play (20–25 minutes)
Instructions:
Divide students into pairs or small groups. Give each group one of the following scenarios to act out. One person plays the friend who was hurt; the other plays the one who made the mistake.
Scenarios:
- You told a secret your friend asked you to keep.
- You didn’t invite your friend to your birthday party and they found out.
- You joined in laughing when someone else teased your friend.
- Your friend didn’t show up to support you at your big game or performance.
- You saw something posted online that hurt your friend’s feelings.
Instructions:
- Use the mini script to start the conversation.
- Talk it out like real friends would.
- Focus on being honest, kind, and respectful.
Step 3: Reflection (5–10 minutes)
After role-playing, ask students to reflect on questions like:
- “What part of the conversation was hardest to say or hear?”
- “What helped the characters start to trust each other again?”
- “How would you want a friend to treat you after a mistake?”
They can share as a group or write their answers privately.
What if the other person doesn’t want to rebuild the friendship?
Sometimes, no matter how much you want to fix things, the other person might not be ready—or might choose not to try at all. And as hard as that is, it’s something we all have to face at some point.
Here’s what you can do:
- Respect their decision.
You can’t force someone to forgive you or be friends again. Real friendship has to be mutual. - Still be kind.
Even if things aren’t the same, continue to be respectful. How you respond shows your character. - Reflect and grow.
Think about what you learned. Whether you made the mistake or not, there’s always a lesson to carry forward into future friendships. - Give it time.
Some people just need space. It doesn’t always mean “never”—it might just mean “not right now.” - Focus on other relationships.
Even if one friendship ends, others can grow. And you’ll be stronger, wiser, and more ready for them.
Remember:
Losing a friend hurts, but it doesn’t define your worth. One closed door doesn’t mean the end of connection—it just makes room for new, healthier ones.
We hope this helps you peeps. Life is not always easy but it is often how we deal with and respond to situations that makes all the difference.
Love as always,
Lynn & Pixie & Lil Red
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Lynn McAllister 